I am no stranger to getting weird for the sake of looking good.
I've adorned a tin foil tiara and sat under a rotating heat lamp, for like an hour, to give the illusion is natural sun-kissed highlights. Who am I kidding? The only light my hair gets is flourescent lighting; I haven't seen the sun in weeks! Which leads me to my next episode of getting weird...
I've stood buck naked in a box and let a machine spray dirty stanky liquid on my body and all up in my face in the hope that it will evenly stain my skin for at least the next 5-7 days. Don't be fooled y'all; this orange tint and rancid smell on my skin isn't from a week in Mexico. But if you were to spend a week in Mexico, you're probably quite familiar with this one...
I've even let a strange woman with broken English put hot wax on some of my most delicate areas and rip it away with every hair follicle in it's path. Am I a masochist?!? Who voluntarily walks into a business and pays someone to make them want to scream like a banshee and kick the sweet little foreign lady in the face?!? That ish hurts!
I've frequently waddled to my car after a mani/pedi sesh. Hands spread wide like I am auditioning to dance in Fosse. Toes spread, walking on my heels like I am trying to maneuver around in scuba gear. (side note- I was walking home from an ice cream date with the hubs last night and I saw a girl in this exact situation trying to open the door to a Middle Eastern restaurant. So being the sweet Southern Belle I am, I opened the door for her. I totally expected her to turn around and say "thank you", but instead she turned around and said, "This is embarrassing, but can you get my debit card out of my back pocket for me? I just got my nails done but I NEED to eat!". ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME????? Awwwwkkkkwaaaarrrrrd, but I totally did it. Been there girlfriend; been there!).
So what kind of awkward things do you do to look good? Go ahead, spill it girlfriend!
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